There are lots of things that people say that you get used to. I should stress I'm not being critical - we get pretty much nothing but support and offers of help. One of the things is - I can't imagine how you're feeling. I'm not surprised - half the time, I don't know myself.
Although as I said before, we are hardened to this, the truth is I was, and am, just as shocked as anyone. The reality of it comes at me in waves, or bite sized chunks if we want to mix our metaphors, in quiet unheralded moments, when I'm watching The Hotel Inspector. I wish I could say there were times that I forget about it altogether, but that, frankly, would be a lie.
The received wisdom is that you have to be positive. It's true, and I get that it's important, but sadly it's not a panacea. And positivity has to be tinged, balanced, with realism, otherwise it's just a bit silly - the docs have, as previously noted, been pretty clear about the long term - so you think, well, if ten people tell you you're drunk, lie down.
But the short to medium term is a different matter. There's plenty to be done, and achieved on the days you're well enough. And there has to be some positives. Genuinely, hard, impossible, as it may be, I don't want people to mope about this. I want them - that means you - to think, blimey, that could be me. Life is short. I better buck my ideas up, get out of my rut, do something amazing. Basically, use my time wisely. Live.
Looking back, I haven't done bad - quietly, in the background, while you weren't looking, I took a good number of my chances, and think, hope, I behaved reasonably well along the way. But I think if I'd have known what was in the post, I would have upped it a notch or two.
I am aware this theme - take all your chances - is becoming a repeating one on my blog. It's entirely deliberate. It bears repeating. If it's boring, well, sorry and all that - but it's so important, really it's the thread which I want to run through the whole blog - and yes, I will return to it again and again. Until you - all of you - start doing something about it.
