There is an old story, probably apocryphal, about the great physicist Richard Feynman, which I have always liked. Apparently one day he was lecturing students about gravitational forces - telling them that it required an enormous body (for example, the Earth) to exert any form of force over even a much smaller body (for example, the Moon). The point is, he went on, "gravitational forces are actually extremely weak....". At this point, so the story goes, the clock in the lecture hall fell off the wall and hit the floor with an almighty bang. Without missing a beat, Feynman finished his sentence - "...but not negligible".
So far, so geeky - how is this relevant to this blog? Sitting in the curry house last night, with Mark, Paul and Dave J (who is rumoured to be Nick Frost's stunt double, and whose personality is large enough for it's own gravitational field), you talk to Dave about that most exciting of subjects, insurance. We all know we should probably get some, but probably don't know exactly what, and begrudge paying what can be not insubstantial premiums for something which is never going to happen - right? My point is, your chances of getting seriously ill, or dying before your natural time are indeed probably very small, but - as I am living proof - crucially, are not negligible.
You urge Dave to think carefully about it. You want to repeat it over and again, but he is an intelligent man, gets the point, and hopefully you stop before his eyes glaze over.
I don't want to sound like an insurance advisor salesman. I would just urge anyone reading the blog to think about what situation their family would be left in if they ended up like, well, me.
But all the different types of safety nets are confusing, at least, that's what I found. To my mind, with the clarity and benefit (if you can call it that) of actually living the situation, I think three are necessary.
1) Life Insurance - a lump sum to be left to your estate if you die.
2) Critical Illness Cover - a lump sum to be paid out to you if you are diagnosed with specified conditions, which should be paid to you whilst you are still alive.
3) Income protection cover - if you can't work, how are you going to pay the bills?
Maybe I should get this blog sponsored by an insurance company. Anyway, pious lecture over.
All of the above is just one part of a deeper, baser need which all of us have - the need to exercise control over our lives and situations. This is something which I've been thinking about a lot lately. As we have been continuing to deal with my condition, sometimes I've felt that I am scrabbling for even the tiniest bit of control I can exert - dates and times of appointments and so on, but that in reality, I am nothing more than an animal choosing the colour of the bars of it's cage.
But when I think more clearly, I realise that actually that's not the case. In the end, what I, we - with the massive support of huge numbers of people around us - are trying to do is prolong my life as long as possible, (and put in place support structures for those around me). It's not like something is going to happen which wasn't going to happen anyway - we all die, in the end - the only thing which has changed is timescales. So, if I am just that animal choosing the colours, well, we all are, one way or another. And that's no way to think about life. Thinking about it that way, I feel quite uplifted, inspired. And outside, quite literally, the sun is shining.
